My name is Lillee Jean. For over three years of my life, but much further back, I have been under constant siege. I am a victim of cyberbullying.
Some might say it comes with the territory of being a public figure, while others lay flabbergasted that this is still going on. Some say I am cyberbullying for fighting back. Can you imagine that? Just for defending yourself.
The same beat, the same drum, the same perpetrator. When does it end, and why does everyone have a different story? Here is my take.
What Is Cyberbullying, Really
Cyberbullying is in my mind to attack someone, seek them out, and attempt to ruin their lives “just because”.
More clinically, according to Arlin Cuncic, from this article, “Cyberbullying is the repeated and intentional use of digital technology to target another person with threats, harassment, or public humiliation.”
Being someone who has dealt with this for many years, reading articles like the above-cited, mentally can be healing. Over the years due to these attacks, I have put my brain in a stasis of numbness to mentally REPAIR.
Now, I feel is time to mentally unload all that is inside, and to release the energy, if you will. I am going to share what the face of cyberbullying is, what it looks like, and how it FEELS, being the victim.
Please check out https://medium.com/@penandink1983/youtuber-lillee-jean-keeps-her-eyes-on-the-future-8d0862ccefd6 for an exclusive interview I gave a few months back, to someone who was apart of the band.
1. Being Anon + Using BIG Words
I think this is top on the list. The idea of hiding behind the keyboard, and saying whatever your heart desires.
This is cliche to me
. Let’s up this a notch to what I’ve endured. MY view of anonymity is much simpler and vivid. I believe it is the idea of not existing, and being the living dead.
“Me say, you repeat” attage.
The screenshot above is from the early days of those harassing me. You can tell they’re proud of their work. I mean, the profile picture is of a cat being threatened by a knife. What could go wrong?
Using pro-language such as “please”, and “look”, then negative trigger words outlined in this article as “flaming” terminology, they easily manipulate the viewer. We begin with a soft please, then trigger words such as “mounting”, “evidence”, and “shocking” scoop in. This allowed the stalker to ease in the rumors they wanted which were nothing short of:
Fake followers Fake friends Racist and Transphobic Fake fans Fake, fake, fake I guess being alive is fake too, I thought at some point.
Above is another example. We enter a positive/negative of “genuinely disappointed”, to “supporting”. Let’s stop there. Already, this person is trying to manipulate a situation, by using emotion, to evoke the response they want.
We enter more egregious language such as “documented” (aka you should trust me because), and the main triggers of “racist, homophobic, and transphobic” (in an age of BLM, Me Too, aka, let’s just double whammy throw this all in if you didn’t believe anything else I said). These words are used to elicit a reaction, and quickly get results.
When I first saw this, I was really upset. A hate campaign.
Why would so many people hate me, over a rumor? A rumor that stemmed from an anonymous Reddit account. No history on the account, thus they had the INTENT to hide. Why should they be given that privacy, I felt?
You See Me NOW YOU DONT
As I dived more into the idea of anonymity, with wanting attention, I realized this is a psychosis. Almost an epidemic of the internet.
Fake accounts mocking my company.
This is called repetition.
Drawing inference, metaphorically, according to Psychology Today’s article “some serial killers actually seek out public notoriety and actively engage in the creation of their public image”. Although you might be alarmed by the wording, really read. Really understand what occurred here, and occurs within ALL cyberbullies.
The public notoriety, well, see below. This happened. The stalker created an identity. “Diane Awesome Laser”
Why? For one purpose. To torment, and shift the power balance, and to make it seem like she wasn’t harassing me for almost a year by that point.
The “I’m not fake, I’m a real person saying this!”
With a profile picture of her face covered with a sock puppet and a name such as “Main Perpetrator of Chaos”, it quite reminds me of Charles Manson. A cult leader, leading people, obviously, into a groomed oblivion.
2. Repetition and Publicity 1:1
If the above overwhelm's you, I don’t blame you. I felt the same waking up daily and seeing every hour a new account pop up. You might think, it’s all a different person. No. It was one woman who at the time went by “BFFDEES”, then later Diane Awesome Laser. She wanted me to know it was HER, too.
This stalker created several personalities to get across her mantra, her message, her GOAL of destroying me.
For publicity, for attention, and to model a cyberbully: rinse, and repeat, if you say it enough, they will listen.
This part disturbs me the most. This stalker and cyberbully, groomed young girls and manipulated them into doing her bidding. A pregnant 19-year-old; A mother of 3; two content creators; a makeup artist; a young child from England…the list goes on. She grew her base. Her cult, and even named them “PantiCULT”.
“Unwitting victim”, mocking people, once again.
As she continued to stretch her platform, she created her first hunch.
"A Beauty Influencer Claims Her Twitter Account Was Suspended After A Smear Campaign By A Teen… On Sept. 17, a beauty guru who has more than 286,000 followers on Instagram received a notice that her Twitter account… www.buzzfeednews.com" - 2020 Psychologically this was done to publicly humiliate or shame me as her form of bullying. The above article has no grain of truth, but it did Diane’s bidding. Her team, of 100 fake accounts shared it out and smeared my name through the mud.
Although I spoke with the editor, who refused to hear the full story, and accused me of a serious offense, and I even tried reaching out to the content creator in question, nothing mattered. I think this is a key point.
DRAMA SELLS, CYBERBULLYING GETS FORGOTTEN
If Buzzfeed listened to her and INTERVIEWED the fake accounts, then everyone should. It gave her a more formed “face”. It gave her an IDENTITY. It gave her VALIDITY.
She used the content creator, to sell her story. She bid two content creators of color, against me. Thus, enter the “racist” trigger word, which makes her claim seem more valid.
Reaching out to Elyse, before writing on Twitter.
“Diane”, is the one who created this drama with the above influencer. She coordinated with Buzzfeed to create a smear campaign. She INFLUENCED a woman who sadly never came around, but kept hating, just because someone said so.
Elyse tagged me in a post, thus, came for me. Diane made sure I saw that with an empty anon account that alerted me to this.
See how dangerous bullying can get? It’s no longer you’re a cyberbully — you’re mentally preying on people.
Here is another example. A young girl was preyed on by this cyberstalker, to do her bidding. I begged this girl for months to stop, but she kept creating videos (11 in total). She believed the rumors that I had fake accounts praising me, and spread the stalker's claims.
As a result, the cyberstalker fed her a dream. She created a frivolous lawsuit without merit to sue me for allegedly getting her Twitter suspended, and for “creators rights”. Diane whispered in her ear what to do (gave direction to someone unstable), and it is assumed plunked down $3,000 on the GOFUNDME, to further isolate, and torment me.
See the domino effect?
This became “Lillee Jean is stalking me”…yet on this girl, I never spoke to her once, besides after seeing her a year of talking with this woman publically on Twitter back and forth, finally cracking. See how a delusion formed? This woman PREYED on an unstable girl.
She molded the same issue with Elyse, just now with someone less strong-minded.
Another example of a young girl under this woman influence:
In this case, the girl my age now threatened to harm me physically. This woman preys on those with mental illness. They all have something in common, and she smells it, a mile away.
In Merriam-Webster, Prey, as a noun can be seen as; to seize and devour prey. In this case, the prey, are these young girls, she used as emissaries, who had something missing in their life, that she gave them.
My last example is perhaps the scariest of all:
This woman, who later admitted to having a drinking problem, was preyed on. She was preyed on by Diane, and riled up, to the point she threatened to physically harm me. We had to file a police report. That was MOCKED online.
Bullies do this to minimize and shift power back.
The “I am untouchable” viewpoint. A fake account planted this. It all roots back to ONE WOMAN, Diane.
A fake account planted this. It all roots back to ONE WOMAN, Diane.
All the women above were interchanged within 2 years of one another. I had to watch this unfold, before my eyes. Just turning 18. Just really digging my feet into this business.
3. TRICK You’re It? INTENTION.
Did you know about “59% of U.S. teens have been bullied or harassed online, and a similar share says it’s a major problem for people their age.” According to Pew Research Center.
I actually DID NOT know this. Many online cyberbullying organizations do NOT help, they just shift focus, which is equally as harmful.
When I title this “Trick You’re IT”, I don’t make any mistakes here. I LITERALLY mean this. The root of all my troubles is one person, who riles up like-minded people with mental illness. Below exemplifies this well.
BUT IT GETS SCARY.
She rallied up MINORS.
She rallied up people 13–15 to create fan pages, to trick me. This falls under intention and dedication.
“Cyberbullies generally have the intention of creating harm when they engage in online bullying. However, bullying can still take place without intention if a victim perceives actions to be harmful.” Very Well Mind
All of these accounts above had a PDF document, made by this older woman…to take me down.
Let that sink in.
Crossing A Line
What happens when people confuse the lines and form delusions between critique, criticism, and straight out cyberbullying? What defines the lines between defending yourself, and seeking out? What is the reason that people become “caught up” on these platforms that seem, rather harmless?
“When bullying happens online it can feel as if you’re being attacked everywhere, even inside your own home. It can seem like there’s no escape. The effects can last a long time and affect a person in many ways” — UNICEF
I often think of these points. The person who cyberbullied me for 2 years, to isolate me further, started selling merchandising with my baby face. Notice a trend here with children?
There always will be bullies, those who prey, those who cry wolf, and those who have obsessions. What now?
What now is to bring awareness to situations like this, and shed light on the facts. If you’re going through this, you’re NOT ALONE.
“In extreme cases, cyberbullying can even lead to people taking their own lives.” — UNICEF
The best movement is holding platforms accountable for this behavior. To yield politicians' attention for implementing lax viewership over these platforms.
I should not have to leave my profession, over a psychotic middle-aged woman who cannot leave her fatal attraction in the Canadian woods. Yet, the internet says I should.
Her tagging brands, before finally creating an identity, and best of all, her directly admitting to cyberhacking my account, on eBay. Isolating, head-on mocking, and using satire to attract minors.
Litigation must be formed within congress to prevent people like this from continuing, without consequences.
My account being hacked, by this woman, who is mocking an LGBTQ+ person, with a fake account on Twitter.
I STAND and say I never will. This is my passion, This is my love, And I am LILLEE JEAN.
Disclaimer: © 2022 Lillee Jean. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. Copyright protection is automatically granted as soon as the original content is created. I explicitly declare my rights, and, deter others from using my content in works of stealing, editing, chopping, and/or repurposing. No fair use is given presumptuously.